Would You Rather

It all started with a game of “Would You Rather.” We’d had our fill of screen-time, yet we still needed some form of entertainment on the night before the 2022 USATF Cross Country National Championships. Having eaten a giant bowl of carbs smothered in creamy pesto sauce, served with a side of buttered carbs and a salad (a pre-race meal more suited to running a marathon than a measly six kilometers), I felt too sluggish to even stand up. Sprawled diagonally across San Diego Mission Bay Resort’s bed and nestled amongst four pillows, I turned to Jenny.

“One kind of chips for the rest of your life: would you rather have potato chips or tortilla chips?”

“Hmmmm….I dunno…” she said.

“Potato chips,” said Jack, her son. He didn’t even hesitate.

“Only vanilla or only chocolate for the rest of your life: which would you rather?” 

“CHOCOLATE!” We all agreed on this one.

The Would You Rather topics became ever more arcane until Jack returned to Netflix, and Jenny dozed off.

I was still deep in thought, considering the next day’s event and questioning my decision to compete. Eight weeks ago, I felt fast and fit—the race had seemed like a great idea. But two weeks ago, things started to unravel. Winter descended relentlessly on my home town of Boise. Snow. Rain. Arctic temperatures. More snow. My training took a nose-dive, and my beer consumption increased in proportion to the decrease in my mileage.  While I believe that athletes should have an off-season, and I accept that it usually happens during winter, I just couldn’t let go of the sense that I needed that off-season to wait a few more weeks. Here I was, feeling bloated and out-of-place, surrounded by tanned and toned southern Californians…What was I DOING here?

And then I remembered: I was supposed to have done this same event two years ago in January of 2020. I was registered to race, plane tickets booked and hotel room reserved, but in early December, I’d cracked my third metatarsal. I didn’t run a step on my broken foot for nearly 4 weeks, and there was no hope of being race-ready for a mid-January national championship. I reflected on a timely and very personal “Would You Rather,” asking myself, Would you rather be sidelined with an injury, or show up for a race feeling less-than-ready/less-than-fit/less-than-fast?

Honestly, I could insert any of those “less-thans” and probably more, but my answer stayed the same: I’d rather show up.

The next morning, as I lumbered around the grassy race circuit, I made sure that the grimace on my face hinted at a smile. When the going got tough (let’s be honest: it was tough from the moment the gun went off), I remembered gratitude—I have the health and ability to do this! And when I crossed the finish line, my philosophical notions were validated: we can choose to find the joy in the experience, regardless of the outcome. If we put too much emphasis on outcomes, we might miss out on a lot of great experiences. The simple game of “Would You Rather” has become a compass for my journey through life. Give it a try—wouldn’t you rather? 

Thanks for reading, Coach Sarah Barber